#that wouldnt change if it were not in fact realized at conception

[pinkeoni]

i dont think that byler needs to have had been planned since the beginning for it to still be happening

[ttarpii]

satisfied - sakusa k. - Prologue

May 5, 2014 ~ 800 words

m.list

For as long as she could remember, yn had the privilege of Sakusa Kiyoomi's presence in her life. In the beginning, he was just a subtle light that would creep in through the blinds of her heart, but day by day, his light would eventually envelop her being in a soft, yet persistent warmth, and their souls would intertwine into a beautiful knot of friendship.

Everyone has their special person, their other half that complements them in every way. Someone who can tell how you feel without a second glance, someone who can soften your heart when times are tough, and bring out the best of you, all while simultaneously healing the wounds that you didn't even know you had. Sakusa had always been her special person, and she liked to hold onto the greedy feeling that perhaps, she was his.

For the majority of it's existence, their relationship was that of best friends, and neither questioned or addressed it, because, what was the point? When they were kids, anyone could tell that the pair were inseparable. But as people grow up, the concept of two people of the opposite gender being "just friends" becomes more and more unfeasible. In highschool, their classmates didn't ignore the gentle privilege that only yn recieved from the moody spiker.

"Yn, aren't you gonna confront that new girl? Its embarrassing how hard she's tryna get with Sakusa.."

"Why would I care if she wants to date him? They'd make a cute couple honestly 🤔"

"so you're telling me there's seriously nothing going on between you guys?? You're joking right..? I've known Sakusa for 2 years and the only times I've seen him smile are when he's with you, AND TRUST ME, MY INSTINCTS ARE TELLING ME ITS LOVE. 😏"

"I mean.. I've never really thought about it that way before, but I'm sure it's just because we've known eachother so long 😭"

"you're stronger than I could ever be yn, you have this total hottie at your beck and call and you don't like him a little bit?? 😔"

Conversations about their relationship were frequent, and they only grew day by day. At first, Yn was annoyed. Sakusa was her best friend, and it felt like people were insulting their decade long friendship. But as the conversations only dragged on, she started to tolerate them, and then, she started to listen. It was undoubtedly true that Sakusa treated her differently from everybody else, and it was also true that he was indeed very handsome. She never noticed it growing up, but his curly locks framed his face in the perfect way, and his eyes had a special charm to them that fit his chiseled features. Not to mention, the moles adourning his face only added to his beauty. It wasn't long until she realized her feelings. That what she thought was platonic was actually much more complex.

Her friends and peers would only feed her delusions, and eventually, she started to act differently around him, hoping he'd maybe take the hint, confess his undying love for her, and then make a dashing proposal asking her to be his girlfriend. The changes were subtle, she would start wearing makeup around him, be just a tad bit more touchy, and of course bring up romance every so often.

But even if the changes were subtle, of course her best friend would immediately notice them. And of course, he would react, right? But, he didn't? And maybe that was the first sign that something was off. He never gave her any hints back of the possibility of liking her. And eventually, she could tell her efforts were in vain, because the comfort they typically had was gone. An outsider wouldnt have noticed anything, but she knew. There was an uncertainess in his smile, and his voice and touch wavered. She had been wondering when he would recognize her efforts, until she realized. She finally figured out the quintessential fact that shattered her world. The eyes he gave her were special, but they were always set for something else. Sure, he was different with her, but with volleyball, he shown the brightest, and she knew her presence could never give him what volleyball gave him.

He knew of her feelings, but he would never like her back.

It was a simple, yet obvious conclusion. She had been making a fool of herself, how could she call herself his bestfriend if she couldnt even notice how he felt about her? They were strictly platonic, nothing else. In a fit of embarrassment, the extra attention she gave him vanished quickly, and were replaced with larger walls intended to protect him from her evergrowing feelings. And as they grew up, these childish feelings of hers only grew, but as they increased she would only get better at hiding them. Because, it didn't matter if he would never like her back, as long as she had him in her life, she would be satisfied.

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IM ACTUALLY SO SORRY HOW LONG THIS TOOK TO COME OUT. OH MY GOSH IM ON MY KNEES BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS 😭😭😭

Future updates will not take as long I pinky promise 😞😓🤙

anyways sorry if this chapter was a little boring!! I js wanted to set up some background before getting into the main dish.. 😈😈😈

yn is actually so strong bc I would've folded so hard and so quickly for sakusa

I love it when I can write the title of the story in the actual writing, and I can tell it's going to happen a lot in this one

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taglist(5/30) @soobinsbreadscrumbs @scxrcherr @tsukkinginamo @madiexuberant @eleanorheartschishiya

[howlonomy]

Here it is:

Alright, the Lore Shit: After killing Zenith Martlet and absorbing Asgore's SOUL, Clover decided to kill literally everyone in the Underground (minus the Ruins since they can't get back there) to make sure that any humans to fall in the future can't be killed by them (their ass was NOT listening to Flowey about how the Barrier works). So the constant release of ambient magic from the killed monsters plus them having Asgore's SOUL started to, slowly but surely, turn them into a Monster (and because of how slow it was, they didn't have any balance issues with the tail). Unknown to them, Asgore's SOUL had been collecting that magic, which is what caused them to change. They don't even realize that they've transformed since, as Sans states, they have distanced themself so much by having a LOVE of 20 that they don't even really seem to be there (also they have not looked in a mirror, no "It's you"s to be seen here)

For some reason I thought of this too, but their theme would either be straight up Enemy Retreating or a remixed All's Fair (which I have decided to call "Is It Fair?")

Stats: Same as always for the same reason, it just makes sense here.

Check: DOUBLE MEANING ALERT! DOUBLE MEANING ALERT! WEEWOO WEEWOO!

Sorry, but yeah. Traitor in the sense of "You killed everyone who cares for me" and "You killed all* the monsters while also being a monster" (a "You have become the very thing you swore to destroy" moment if ever there were). And "Justice" because killing people is never justice (unless it's the death penalty and ruled by a court of law but eh, semantics)

FLAVOR TEXT BECAUSE I HAVE THOUGHT THIS OUT WAY TOO MUCH:

Clover seems hesitant.

Clover can't seem to attack!

Are they... crying?

Because this fight is from the POV of a Pacifist Ending Clover (most likely in between exploring Ceroba's house and meeting up with Martlet on top off UG Apartments, again I have thought this out way too much) that means that nmm!Clover is fighting a human, which they really don't want to do, especially since that human is themself, so they hesitate and sometimes just straight up don't attack (I thought about including Familiarity again, but decided against it just so that I could have new material, it would absolutely fit, though)

Also, fun little fact I guess, but this is a complete inversion of the dt!Clover vs. nm!Clover fight! A murderous monster Clover fighting a pacifistic human Clover, and BOTH don't want to fight this time!

I realize that this may be a bit much considering this IS your au, but I can't help it when my brain starts thinking of this stuff, and it's so cool that I can't NOT draw it and share it.

ANYWAYS now I only have like one idea left. I am so close, but I will probably gain like seven others as soon as it's done, oh well. Enjoy!

WHAAAAATTT ALL OF THIS IS SO FUN???? the concept of slowly turning into the thing you swore to destroy is SOOO EVERYTHING…. and the play on alls fair??!??!? literally insane i am obsessed with it being called is it fair. because its not but i imagine nmm!clover being so distraught about being turned into a creature they hate and having to fight themselves. but its almost like penance for what they did.

AND THE INVERSE IS SO FUNNNN so many interesting new dynamics there; like if this fight took place before the final ceroba fight, clover wouldnt be nearly as close with everyone. sure, theyre angry at nmm!clover but also. they get it. im sure they would understand where they were coming from.

AARUGHHH THIS IS SO FUN I LOVE THIS LITTLE IDEA!!! ITS SO RICH IN CHARACTER AND LITTLE FLAVOR TEXTS

[devilsainz]

First, Thank you @watercolor-hearts for tagging me! when i saw it i knew it wouldnt be an easy task (mostly because i love to talk a lot lmao) but i liked the concept and felt that it would be interesting way to dive more into the ships i am fond of.

Pairing/Shippy list!

Here are the rules:

1. List your top seven ships.

2. Put them all in order for your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favourite.

3. Name the fandom.

4. Put a picture of the guys in question.

-

7. Ziam (Zayn/Liam Payne) (One Direction)

weird way to start this list, since its not f1 related, and i very much believe it's a dead ship now. But honestly they deserve this honorable mention for being the first ship i adopted, and i didnt even care about One Direction or their music around that time (in fact i cant remember even how i stumbled upon this ship lmao). These two together just had so much chemistry for me, either on stage, interviews, or anything really. also they were my introduction to this whole idea of "ship" (Larry was the absolute more popular one obviously, but it was Ziam that really SUCKED me in like a vacuum cleaner). Unfortunately, Liam's distasteful comments last year bursted my bubble about them (even though he has explained this year he wasn't in a good place, and i personally think they are okay with each other, even though still distant), but i still like to watch their compilation videos on youtube sometimes, it's quite bittersweet :')

6. Martian (Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber) (Formula 1)

honestly i feel i just dont put these two higher because they feel somewhat new to me, like i need to dive into them more. I just think its such a fun ship in the sense that it has a looot of things going on at the same time, their very public rivalry and the famous multi 21, mark's angry face at that one press conference, it could be so so angsty but they just make me laugh (also, the making love on track quote is now burned into my brain so in no way they could be out of this list).

5. Christian horner/Toto wolff (Formula 1)

okay okay this is the part yall realize im actually crazy. but... they DO have chemistry when they are interacting, even in their non-amicable moments, and i do love myself some good enemies to lovers. Obviously it helps that i think they both are very actrattive, sexy middle aged men that have hunger for victory and i believe they hold so much respect and admiration for each other, considering they are the two most sucessfull TP's at this point. Also, HEIGHT DIFFERENCE.

4. Versainz (Max Verstappen/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

(i wanted to find that ONE gif where he lifts carlos a little so bad but this one will do) Oh, this one really rocketed fast into my favorites. I just think they are just so wholesome. I always feel Max is warmer towards a certain number of drivers, and Carlos is one of them. And i dont even ship them in a ... kind of way, even tho it makes sense in my head the narrative that both were each others "first's" before going into bigger ships. Its just that it feels so special that both debuted together as teammates and, both took different trajectories in the way their career planned out, but theres still a genuine connection between them, at least in my view.

3. Maxiel (Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo) (Formula 1)

I know its weird because i dont really post about them. But this falls into the same category as versainz for me, except that here there's a kind of dynamic that it makes me go "hmm... interesting". I always like to see max smiling and being happy because this boy went thru so much in his childhood, and oh how Daniel knows how to bring this side of Max. If Max can be warmer to certain drivers, for Daniel he has a whole SOFT SPOT, and i think that's very endearing. IMO, Daniel feels like the person that changed him in deeper ways we know, that one person that was indirectly a "life teacher" to him maybe, and thats special to me.

2. Brocedes (Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg) (Formula 1)

Oh, the ANGSTY in this one. yes, this one deserves the ANGSTY in all caps because to me that's them. Oh to have lived through their divorce must have been heartbreaking but what a freaking cinematic ship this one is. I just can't ignore it. How it feels to me that Nico is the one who wears his heart on his sleeve, while Lewis has that chilling Capricorn control over his emotions is so. just so. And the fact that Nico's legacy is forever entangled in Lewis' name. If a movie screenwriter would come up with this, i'd think it would be overdramatic, but no, theyre actually this unhinged.

Charlos (Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

how do i even start talking about these two idiots? Okay, so obviously i think they're both very attractive and that definetely helped me to ship them lmao. But thats kind of reductive, because these two have sooo much chemistry in my opinion, even before their ferrari days, there was so much potential waiting to bloom, and it did. I love their banter, their competitiveness, how they can get childlike around each other sometimes. How they are so physical, how they make each other laugh (let me not talk about their gazes to each other or i will not end this today). I love how Carlos doesn't hide he wants to compete with Charles (which brings him unnecessary hate sadly), and how both respect each other in this stance. There's a bit of angsty underneath this soft/fluffy surface too (more from Carlos' perspective imo - but lets not forget Charles and Silverstone 2022 too - this is my charlos angsty origin story), but they still find their way, and that kind of compels me even more into them. I just think theres so many layers, multitudes, in the way we can create, write and read about them. Absolute favorites.

-

Tagging @schumiatspa and @sainzjpeg 😊

obviously, feel free to ignore if you dont want to play, no hard feelings around here ❤, and also 7 ships are quite a work! if you're not tagged but want to make your list, feel free to do it and consider yourself tagged by me 😘

[crawlthruribs]

so i saw this post somewhere saying that they wanted a fic where ennis, jack, and alma were all in a polyam relationship - that alma saw them kissing but instead of being disgusted she found she was into it. i have some thoughts about this, and it’s not a call out post where im going to be rattling off all the ways that i think op was wrong, it is an interesting concept, i was just thinking about how personally i dont think it would happen.

one) we see through the course of their marriage the slow resentment and change that occurs, and while i am not sure why alma and ennis got together in the first place, they were happy at the beginning. the rift between alma and ennis increases after they have kids, and it only seems to escalate all the way up and through their divorce. 

i think, from alma’s perspective, she recognized that the man she married was not the same one who continuously rejects her and expects so much from her. ennis constantly ignores alma, he leaves her to take care of the kids and to cook and do her job and he places his occupation and work over hers - i dont think alma knew how to fix it, how to make ennis pay attention to her. i am sure she blamed herself in a way and most likely experienced loneliness being stuck in this position. 

when she finds out what ennis and jack are doing, all the feelings that she had been left to sit in bubble up. this was the 1960s, the whole concept of this story is about hatecrime and homophobia - in alma’s eyes it is disgusting and shameful and putrid and this was the man that she had married. she was left and cast aside for something vile and wrong and it hurt. perhaps maybe in a different story she could have found it appealing in a way, but it’s not just “oh she hasnt explored sexually, there’s a chance she could be into that stuff” it’s also the divide between her and ennis and the emotions that she had previously suffered through and the guilt that she could now blame on someone else. it wasnt her fault that ennis was cold to her, but up to this point that’s what she thought; when she sees them, it’s the tipping point and realization that it wasnt her, but it was this gross affair. 

two) from ennis’ point of view, alma is a tether. she is a force that keeps him safe and “normal”, she is the right and traditional thing to do. but she also sort of is a cage, he has to be “normal” and has to love her in order to accomplish this. she is a way to “fix” himself.

piggybacking from another post i saw, there is also the fact that she is a woman. i believe the other person said something about how being with a woman for jack and ennis is different than sleeping with another man because she doesnt pose a threat to their relationship. the woman is simply a necessity and cannot give either of them what they truly want. and that’s all that alma really is, she is only required so ennis can fulfill tradition and be left alone (we see that later after they divorce the amount of times it’s brought up to him that he should settle down again).

three) i am not quite sure what jack would think seeing that alma never really was something he had to worry about. it was always ennis’ work or his deep connection to his hometown that really proved a problem. i do believe though, that being in a polycule with alma and ennis not something he would like. having relations with other men was something he constantly looked for, that he needed to “sustain himself” as he said when he and ennis were arguing about the lack of time they had together and adding a woman to the mix wouldnt be what he was looking for. he could have sex with a woman at any point in time, adding alma into the mix is only taking away his one place that he can get the satisfaction he wants. 

feel free to add on or correct me, i have only seen the movie, though i do want to read it, and have watched it once. this was not meant to be a call out post in any way shape or form, simply a pondering of why the three of them wouldnt work and my take on their complex relationships.

@apollosleftelbow

[transflynnscifo]

i just realized that i actually dont know what the general consensus is with most tov minigames besides some form of contempt?(?) dislike(?) from repede snowboarding

so actually im kinda curious to hear what others think if anyone wants to weigh in on this post!

im going to try to recount all options for minigames, but please let me know if i forgot anything. anyway off the top of my head there are:

-the two dice games at the one vendor in capua nor

-resraurant serving

-the water cactus thing that you do exactly once

-warehouse sidequest should probably count even if you cannot play again once its complete

-dragon races

-repede snowboarding

-super chill (cold) rhythm game that you Also play exactly once

-nam cobanda poker

my opinions on how i feel about the minigames are under the cut:

-dice: i forgot that there were two options of games until i started typing the post lol. its extremely chance-based and in reality the only reason one would bother to spend time on it is to get a title for rita (doesnt even have a coatume with it!) personally is like a D or maybe even F tier

-restaurant serving: may be considered extremely tedious the harder the difficulties go. i know i got overwhelmed by it until i realized i could cheese it by writing down all the orders on paper because the dialogue bubbles only change if you press them. i think that aspect saves the minigame from being the worst. ultimately its funny because of how absurd orders can get but i can understand why people wouldnt be happy to play it. Personally, its B tier. at least you can get costumes out of them

-water cactus: this is a one-time game during the story so its hard to evaluate it. i think in concept its extremely interesting as its a brief moment to force the player into a rhythm to get through desier by making them manage the water in the party's canteens. its a shame it doesnt remain once you reach yormgen but i understand the choice behind it not being permament: if someone needs to fight gigantes or find materials in the dungeon, needing to manage the water at the same time could make the process less fun. C tier for interesting concept and wondering if it could have been possible to adapt this in a more fully-fledged minigame

-warehouse sidequest: in theory very fun, but its definitely not for me. i have to admit, i resorted to using videos to help me do them in the past, but i should try doing them by myself the next time i get the sidequest. the quest itself is cute and you get a really nice costume for karol. i think its pretty good especially because you dont need to do it all at once and hence take it at your own pace as opposed to brute-forcing it all like you can in the waiter minigame. high C/low B until further notice

-dragon races: now HERES a very fun and interesting mini game (imo!) the premise of it kind of expects you to have a good grasp of the world map, but it starts out easy enough to be doable with practice. its one of the minigames that feel worth coming back to because of the fact it 1) doesnt take too long 2) isnt convoluted in a way where you constantly need to write/pause/think. you just fly! plus you can get a very nice outfit for judy off of it. A tier, no doubt. the only reason it isnt S is that its not my absolute fave. im biased. however its still one of the best minigames the game has to offer

-repede snowboarding: hi. i love repede snowboarding. so much so that my sibling had me clear the courses on their save file of vesperia. i think admittedly the controls are a little bit janky, but at the same time, its because you arent expected to hold only to accelerate all the time. its a balancing act that requires some patience to manage. the reality is that there are two maps but with different weather conditions that change how hard the course plays. i ultimately enjoy playing it especially with the challenge of beating it under a certain time limit. using the overdrive dolls here as a means to get costumes for everybody is genius too. for me, this is S tier uncontested

-rhythm minigame: its another one that appears for exactly once and never again. in reality, the game could have made it happen 4 times in total and it wouldnt have been as confusing for why its even in there. i assume that by the time they were making it that the team was pressed for time and was unable to incorporate it the other 3 (possible) instances. i think its got a lot of potential but as it is right now it just awkwardly exists. honestly i feel bad for sticking it in C tier. but i also think i would have had put it into D had it not been my love for estelle. it certainly has more going for it compared to DICE

-poker minigame: HERE IT IS. the means of getting chips for nam cobanda. this is a very simple variation of poker, but in my opiniom, an engaging one. i think it says a lot that its possible to get sucked into playing it a while. its pretty straightforward and i think its actually the one minigame with most replay value because of the fact theres a chips vendor, whereas your incentive to do the other games are titles/costumes and those are finite. and while this is also somewhat chance-based like the dice, its less of a "guess randomly" and more of a "trying to predict the pattern and possible cards". S tier

ok thanks for reading id love to hear ppls thoughts too!

[headcompost]

🍉  :    which of the four seasons suits my muse best,  and why?  

🍌  :    is my muse inclined to help others,  or will they only do it when it benefits them,  if at all?  what makes them this way?  has it ever gotten them into trouble,  or inconvenienced them? 

🍊  :    does my muse desire romance?  is it something they would actively seek out,  or prefer to happen more  ‘  naturally?  ’  what is their love life like?  do they have any exes or past flings,  or crushes?  

🥭  :    how important to my muse is their hometown,  or where they’re from?  are they proud of it,  or considered a hometown hero?  did they move away,  or do they wish to?

🍉 : which of the four seasons suits my muse best, and why?

Summer with its bugs and cloying heat, cicada songs, sleeveless shirts, warm blood spilled on pavement after you tripped. He brings growth and change, the heat of punishment and judgement but he also brings bike riding and swimming and camping.

🍌 : is my muse inclined to help others, or will they only do it when it benefits them, if at all? what makes them this way? has it ever gotten them into trouble, or inconvenienced them?

John definitely struggles with this concept as a whole, it's just really hard for him in general. John prioritizes himself and his life over most other things, he's quick to throw people he doesn't really care about under the bus- but it's less so because he doesn't want to be hurt, but moreso because he knows ANY mistake or slip up on his end can cost him a LOT more than most people. not everybody has been on a almost 30 year run from the most powerful corporation on the planet before.

but that doesn't change the fact that John views himself as someone who is almost always in the right, he doesn't question himself or his choices, so when he sees people struggling with something he feels like he can handle, he not only feels the need to step in even if it wouldnt benifit him but take over until the thing is over. John has raised Dirk almost more than Dave has, due to the fact that Dave is just frankly not a very good father, and John panicks over every mistake Dave makes. Dave sits there like I just want Dirk to be happy (doesn't teach him how to swim or drive a car or make a bank account) which obviously makes John freak the hell out. He tends to "mother bird" people from a distance..... or, father bird. john doesn't have a maternal bone in his body.

🍊 : does my muse desire romance? is it something they would actively seek out, or prefer to happen more ‘ naturally? ’ what is their love life like? do they have any exes or past flings, or crushes?

Johns love life has been relatively static since highschool, he has had a semi-open off and on semi-serious relationship with Dave since they were in their late teens, that carries out even now in their thirties/forties. John loves Dave! he considers himself deeply indebted to Dave too, considering how much he helped with his escape from Crocker Corp and years after.

That being said though, Johns almost completely aromantic. He's had a lot of flings in the past whether it be because he found the other person attractive or because he was getting something out of the arrangement like money or food. He's got a very long line of short exes he kept, and tends to flirt very rampantly. Jake is encouraged to do the same thing, to flirt with anyone who seems like they may be vulnerable to being sucked into the product hell of Crocker Corp. Its something that still remains in John himself too, he doesn't realize thats where its from though, he just likes to be a flirt.

🥭 : how important to my muse is their hometown, or where they’re from? are they proud of it, or considered a hometown hero? did they move away, or do they wish to?

John has grown deeply DEEPLY unsettled by cities like the one he grew up in and avoids any place with too much city planning, it makes him feel sick and is a psychotic trigger for him. He thinks its really creepy how many building exist and how none of them house people who are forced to live outside.

[ichiners]

This is an old post of mine from a little over a year ago. I still like it so im going to post it here. @hekatekun you are briefly mentioned towards the end since this was posted on fb heheheehehh

Small rambly post about Osomatsu and how he's the dominant personality

Osomatsu is usually one of people’s least favorite brother. Totty is almost always last but Osomatsu is usually second to last, because again people don’t know what to do with him. Osomatsu has gone up in popularity quite a bit over the years, especially since the show has started to make him interact with Kara+Ichi a lot more. We have their dynamics clearly shown to us with the two fan favorites, and it turn Osomatsu benefits from that.

But people still don’t quite get him. Even if you don’t think he’s boring he lacks a gimmick. He’s usually the “plain” brother. But thats whats so interesting about him!!!!! THIS IS AN OBJECTIVE FACT!!!!! OSOMATSU IS AN INTERESTING CHARACTER!!!!! IF YOU DON’T THINK HE’S INTERESTING YOU MISSED THE POINT OF HIS CHARACTER!

A few days ago I made a chart as a joke explaining that Osomatsu is the blueprint for everyone else because he is. For a long time Osomatsu led them, and I imagine until late middle school/early highschool the other five never bothered branching out. They were all carbon copies of osomatsu. They were when they were 10. I have no reason to believe they also wouldn’t follow him until they realize *its weird* to have five identical brothers and also act Exactly the same. They were doing the identical act up until highschool!! Only when they were ostracized by their peers did they see being identical and being so tightly interwoven with each other a bad thing. They reconciled as adults, and now that tight web has turned into a complicated mess that none of them want to deal with.

You can basically break down Osomatsu to THREE traits, as shown in the chart. There is more to him but if you really need a quick summary its those three.

Now u might be thinking depressed? Osomatsu isn’t depressed!! Because im calling my fucking sister out right now who looked at me like i was fucking crazy when i suggested osomatsu is depressed. Because he is. He’s just good at repressing his emotions. His *true* emotions, the ones that require him to not act like a petty asshole. The ones that require him to think critically. He doesnt want to think about it! He doesnt want to grow up! Hes emotionally immature and he wants to be comfortable for as long as he can put off abstract concepts such as “the real world” and “being an adult”.

We are shown he hasn’t changed at ALL since highschool and its been at Least 5 years since he’s graduated highschool. But its probably closer or past 10. And is still literally the same.

Hes so selfish and needy that he is WILLING TO TAKE YOU DOWN WITH HIM! TO PRESERVE HIS OWN FEELINGS ABOUT A SITUATION. Its his way or the highway. And thats how he treats his brothers. Thats why s1e24 felt so black and white. Everyone was yelling like “why dont they just live together! They dont have to separate like that!” And thats obvious to like real people lol but not to these manchildren.....not these guys who

A.) have no frame of reference. They dont know how to be adults and B.) have such toxic dependency on each other that they feel the only way to “grow up” is to be alone despite that being bad for their mental health...

And it was...because they ended up coming back home the next episode. Yeah episode 25 was played off as a joke but if osomatsu was 15% more serious we wouldve seen them come back anyways. Staff just likes to play hehe funny pranks and not give us any serious conclusions to nearly anything.

Anyways 📷

Mars explained this really nicely and ive been thinking about it ever since: Osomatsu is the original (and dominant) personality, and the other five are struggling (and failing) to get out from under his shadow. I wouldnt say he’s a tyrant, but both Episode 24s, and their focus on Osomatsu specifically.......its obvious hes a huuge part of the reason for the rest of the matsu’s characterization. Despite there being no real reason for it, what Osomatsu says goes. There’s so much bickering because it was like that for a long time and Osomatsu still is an instigator.

[violetnotez]

fic or whatever concept: fushiguro is in love w the reader but they have a huge crush on yuuji and it’s just megumi suffering as the reader and yuuji get together and they’re actually really,,, happy??? and in love???

This is the shit I LIVE FOR -also I made a whole playlist for this idea-you can watch the vid here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Megumi x reader (not really?), Yuuji x reader

Songs to Listen to: Treat You Better (but the Kurt Hugo version, seriously, thank me later!)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Maybe if he had tried harder, this wouldn’t have ended up like this. He just felt alone, empty, with nothing to show but a broken heart and head full of bitter dreams.

Did he fool himself? That maybe, some miraculous way, he would have won?

Megumi lay on his bed, worn sweatshirt making his skin crawl and his black sweats uncomfortable to wear, his toes curling from disgust.

Nothing could get his mind off of you, even months after you started dating Yuuji.

 It almost got worse, now that you were off limits.

Funny how it works like that.

His brain seemed to just always want to think of you-the way your voice seemed to sparkle when you yell out his name, the way you look too damn cute when you’d walk out of your dorm room in the morning, hair messy and feet bare-

Fuck fuck fuck.

Megumi groaned, placing a hand on his forehead and smoothing his hair back in exasperation.

You weren’t his, and you’d never be his-he shouldn’t be thinking of you like this. You were dating his best friend after all-didn’t he have any shame?

Even though he was in so much heart ache, so much pain from the fact he couldn’t have you.....he couldn’t ever hate his friend from taking you away from him.

Yuuji was good to you, and painfully, he had to admit Yuuji was better than him in every way as a boyfriend.

Yuuji was sociable, able to strike up a conversation and make everyone feel like his best friend-Megumi wasn’t like that.

Yuuji wasn’t afraid of physical touch, constantly having a hand on your hip to keep you near him or swinging you around lovingly like he hadn’t seen you in years- he was terrified of physical touch.

Yuuji was strong, powerful, and able to protect you from the world- he couldn’t say the same for himself.

Megumi’s insecurities were infesting his body, gnawing at his bones, squirming through his muscles and into his skin, making his jaw clench and nails dig deep into his skin from disgust within himself.

Why hadn’t he at least fucking tried?

But he had been too placid, too worried of rejection, too worried of ruining your friendship-

But then again....he was just too selfless. He was willing to let everyone around him surpass him if it meant they would win, thrive, and live happy lives- even if it meant he had to suffer the consequence.

Megumi squeezed the white sheets around him, twisting them into tight spirals around his digits.

He let it happen again-he had succumbed to that fear.

Years worth of affection, years worth of admiration and dedication-washed away like it never happened., because of it And now he was dealing with the repercussion with phantoms of what could have been, with the jealousy, and a broken heart.

Megumi shifted in his bed, feeling his sweatshirt stick to his back, his hand reached out to grasp at the white beams of moonlight drifting into his room.

What would have happened if he had said no that day? Would anything have changed-if he had admitted that he did like you, that he had wanted to call you his?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

He remembers that day like it was yesterday, that feeling of dread filling in his stomach as if he knew something was about to change, the shift of energy making an icy chill run along his back.

Yuuji has been behind him, leaving training as they usually do with his hands in his pockets.

It was quiet, the hallways empty except for the two of them, the wooden floors making soft clicks as it reacted to their footsteps. It should have felt peaceful, a soft breeze fluttering in from the opened windows as the sun began to set outside. But that errie sensation was still boiling in Megumi’s gut, that gnawing feeling of dread making him unable to enjoy the peace.

“Hey man, I wanted to ask you something real quick,” Yuuji’s voice stopped Megumi in his tracks, his feet halting with an echo in the empty corridor.

Megumi turned around slowly, tentatively, almost too worried to face what was behind him. 

Maybe at this time he knew what was about to happen, the feeling of dread settling.

“Sure,” he simply stated, shrugging nonchalantly as the golden sun set the room in a red hue.

“This might be a little personal,” Yuuji began, hands placed in the pockets of his sweatshirt still, “but I got a question about y/n.”

Yuuji looked at him, staring him down like two men in a duel. He was serious, more serious than Megumi had seen him in a long time.

“I know you guys are pretty close...”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Megumi stated, swallowing a ball of saliva down his dry throat.

“Well, I-“ Yuuji sighed, pink hair swaying as he looked down at the floor quickly, almost preparing himself for what he was about to say next.

“I-I wanted to ask them out.....out on a date....”

“- it okay with you?”

Megumi’s eyes widened in shock, the his whole body feeling as if hit by a ton of bricks from Yuuji’s words.

This was it-the worst case scenario, the worst thing he knew was happening but didn’t want to admit.

Megumi tried to recover quickly, his eyes slanting back down to unamused slits in a matter of seconds.

“Why are you asking me?” he questioned, trying to keep the growing panic inside him at bay,” It’s not like I dictate who she dates.”

“I think you know why.”

“I don’t.”

“Fushigoro-“

Megum sighed violently, eyes looking up at the ceiling as he tried to fight the growing pain in his heart.

“I don’t dictate your life-I don’t dictate them-and you don’t dictate mine. Do whatever the hell you want-“

“I won’t date them unless you say it’s okay for me to Fushigoro.”

Itadori’ voice had none of that boyish, playful tone to it. It was more mature than Megumi had even heard it-but something behind it was different.

It was almost like there was this desperateness to it- Yuuji needed him to say yes. Yuuji so badly wanted to call you his-just like him.

“You can say no-“ Itadori rushed on, eyes intense with anticipation, “-I won’t think less of you or hate you for it.”

Megumi watched as he shuffled uncomfortably, the knowledge that he just admitted his crush making him slightly sheepish as he scratched the back of his head.

“Hell, I know I would-” he said truthfully, “ I just don’t want to ruin our friendship by going behind your back.”

Fuck, Megumi wanted to fight for you. He wanted to so so badly.

Megumi had known you for longer, you two were close friends, he had a connection to you-didn’t he deserve to be yours after being so dedicated to only you?

Fushigoro was there for when you cried over your stresses, rubbing your back patiently as you let everything out of you, summoning his animals because he knew how much they made you happy.

He was there for your late night study sessions, the lighting hazy as the pouring rain pounded on the window, cleaning up your room of the papers and flashcards after he convinced you to go to sleep.

He trained with you when you worried you weren’t strong enough, always making sure to congratulate you in someway, fighting the redness in his cheeks after you had successfully completed a new move, your skin dangerously close to his.

God, he had waited for so long-why did the world have to fuck him over? Why did his best friend, out of all the people in the world he could form a crush on, like you like that?

But looking at Yuuji, he knew he wouldn’t win this war. Him and Yuuji were very similar in their passion and devotion, but the simple difference between them was Yuuji wasn’t afraid to be selfish.

Megumi was accustomed to backing down for everyone, sacrificing himself so the people he loved could succeed. It was an awful habit of his, maybe due to his insecurities, maybe just a routine he learned at this point, he would never know- but the fact was he knew that Yuuji would never stop fighting for you. Even if Megumi screamed at him, cursed at him, told him to fuck off and leave you alone-Yuuji wouldn’t ever stop loving you. Itadori would respect Megumi’s wishes, but he would still protect you, fight for you, and love you with everything in him.

And that much devotion coming from someone as charismatic and kind like that-what person wouldnt fall for that?

Megumi sighed, his heart breaking in two at the sudden realization hit him-he was too weak to be any threat to Yuuji.

”You’re not going behind my back.” He finally said, looking down at the floor as the self loathing boiled in his stomach.

“But you-“

“I don’t. Like them.” Megumi was seething, hating every fiber in his body for doing this to himself. Each word was choppy, the sentence laced with sternness and bitterness.

“-Do whatever the hell you want.”

Megumi needed to leave, and leave quick. He hadn’t felt this emotional in a long time, and he didn’t want Yuuji to start thinking that he was actually bothered by all of this.

He turned on his heel, ready to get out of there as quickly as possible-

“Hey Megumi- you really okay with this? This won’t change our friendship? I won’t do this unless youre okay-“

Yuuji took a step forward, hand reaching out to his friend as a peace offering, a sheepish smile on his lips.

Megumi turned, his chest tightening as he looked down at his hand, too tired to reach out for it and pretend like he didn’t hate his friend at this moment.

“They dont like me. They like you- I see it. You’ll make them happy, and that’s all I want for them.”

Yuuji smiled , seemingly content with his quiet friend’s answer.

“Thanks man,”

Megumi turned again, head hanging low as he quickly left the corridor, desperate to get out of there.

“Tell me thank you when they say yes.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

He groaned, letting the painful memories overtake him as he turned his back to the wall.

It just hurt-maybe he would get over all of this one day, but right now he couldnt.

As if on cue to deepen his torture, he heard a giggle from you across his room, the muffled noise of Yuuji’s voice making him cringe.

Thin ass walls-you were probably visiting Yuuji again for the night, staying up all night to watch movies.....

This was destroying him-but he couldnt ever blame you for it, because you were oblivious to his love for you. He had made sure you would never catch on- and now you would never know because he was too cowardly to ever say it. 

God, what he’d do to have the roles switched though...with you breaking school rules to come visit him at night, to here that sweet laugh in his room, to feel your head cuddle into his chest, or see you slowly begin to wake up in the morning....

Megumi felt a pain in his chest at the wanting feeling that would never fully be satiated gnaw at his chest, his hands despertedly grabbing at his pillow and shoving it against his ear.

He didnt want to hear you, he didnt want to see you...at this moment he didnt want anything to do with you or Yuuji. 

This hurt too much...

Fuck, he really screwed up.

[enderon]

My favorite thing about this season so far is just how very present the effects of the movie are. And I dont just mean the references like Nya Chan looking up to Totoko or Choromatsu's 18 year old characteristics, I'm talking about the effects on the matsus and even Totoko towards growing up. Its notable that already this season has had some pretty prominent moments of self awareness that seems to tie well into the sort of stuff that came up in the movie. And because of this clear presence in the season, I think that this season's episode 24 will not only go different to season 1 and 2's, but I think it'll go much better. Cause the thing that the episode 24 in seasons 1 and 2 had in common was that a lot of the 'problem' popped up when the sextuplets seperated and stopped spending time together. In season 1 it was Osomatsu's anger at Choro leaving which prompted everyone else to also leave, wherein they were completely seperated and didnt talk until they got dragged back in. In season 2 it was Osomatsu's realization that, since they'd all been working, they hadn't been hanging out or seeing each other and didnt know what the others were up to that sparked his dissasociative episode and questioning of his own identity. Then, as something of a culmination of this concept, so much of the actual conflict of the movie relies on the fact that, in an effort to grow up and find their own independence and self identity, the brothere almost completely avoided each other in high school and were worse off for it. And so, as we see throughout all of these examples, the main issue and seeming reason that they cant seem to move on well comes about when they seperate too far from each other. It's like they have this idea that being an actual adult means they cant spend time together or be around each other and when they try that it doesnt work cause it's too jarring for them to be so completely seperated, I mean they were literally born together, the 6 of them have always been together. So, my current thinking is that, maybe, not only are they gonna start taking baby steps to becoming proper adults throughout the season, rather than jumping in whole hog all at once like in the past, and that the culminating revelation will be that they can still be proper adults while still being best friends and close brothers and still getting to see each other. It's just a theory for now, and of course the last episode, through the last two season's, has proved to be among the kookiest of episodes, so we shall see if the revelation avtually changes anything. But, honestly, even if it would mean definetly no more episodes, I wouldnt mind seeing the boys finally achieve proper adulthood and find comfortable, happy adult lives for themselves.

[armillary-spheres-lover]

Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that’s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive)   You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.

[dragqueenpentheus]

Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ��if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

[clumsyclifford]

1, 5, 7 for hello hello, 19 for cruel summer jalex, & 24 for the fic asks? -megs 💙💙💙

shalom amiga or should i say.......hello hello . that was a missed opportunity on my part tbh and i have to live with that

1: Is writing cathartic or stressful for you? i try not to write when it feels stressful. there's nothing worse than feeling like you're wringing words out of you like a dirty towel, lmao. most of the time it's cathartic. but also a lot of the time it's neither? like it's just...fun. i enjoy it. it's a thing i do because i like to do it

5: Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter. oooooh ohohohoho well joke's on you chica i haven't worked on anything that hasn't been completed since i got to camp because i don't have the time or energy for incomplete fics baby !!! that's probably a lie. let me go trawl my drive.

omg i forgot i started writing this. im not sure ill ever finish it but here's a snippet i like

The man leans through the passenger side window. His face is concealed by the night, barely aglow from the lights of the dashboard. There's a shadowy scruff of beard around his mouth and a backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Hi," he says, in a voice that sounds like it's hiding something sweet. "Any chance I can hitch a ride?"

"Are you a murderer?"

"Yeah," says the man. "But obviously not a very good one. I'm still working on the whole secrecy thing."

7: Were there any ideas you had for hello, hello that you couldn’t make work? What were they? mmmmmmmmmmm interesting question. the only one i can think of is i had a halfway intention to make calum be a bartender, but that was less of an intention and more of a retrospective "oh shit, i didn't give calum a job, what's a job that could have weird hours" realization. but then i don't think it wouldve worked because it would have come up in conversation when they decided to go to a bar and theyd probably have gone to whatever bar calum worked at and it wouldnt make sense from a narrative standpoint for them to be at a bar but for the fact that calum is a bartender to not come up even once, so i decided against it. i'll figure it out though maybe he's just a trust fund baby or something who knows

19: 15 words to describe the aesthetic of fever dream high in the quiet of the night. i'm saying this is 15 concepts not just 15 words because 15 words is impossible okay go:

whispers, neon, leather jackets, red, headlights, hands, blue, bruises, summer, darkness, exciting, cars, kissing, desperate, painful

is this how you describe an aesthetic?? i don't know. side note, if anyone feels like making a cruel summer jalex moodboard i would very much not say no to that

24: Which fic of yours do you wish people would ask about more? Why? this is a difficult question because i have so many fics it would just be unreasonable to expect to be asked with any frequency about almost any of them. i guess hmm i know it's a more recent one but the jalex breakup fic took a lot of time and effort and i'm very happy with how it turned out but by its nature it's pretty sad and it is also somewhat long so like, i don't expect to be asked about it. also, the fics i get asked about change as time goes on, like i used to get asked a lot more about baby driver and iydk fic and neon weekend and stuff, but i've basically talked myself to death about those so it's definitely for the best that we've all collectively moved on. i realize i haven't really answered your question here but honestly i'm happy with however much these fics get asked about. twist my arm, my answer is jalex breakup fic.

fic ask game!!

[whiterbone-a]

i wanna know what your take on the nanami / gojo relationship is ?? cause a big part of me is like nanami isn't someone who really talks , like you won't get inside of him and he'll make jokes here and there with the whole work is shit thing . but i think he lost his heart and happiness alongside yuu and i think he even said this wasn't a mission first years should be on and the fact that yuu looked up to getou and gojo so much and still got killed was like a fucking blade to the stomach.

i mean do you think there is a romantic possability , i do play around with it but at the same time do you think it would be comforting ?? like i know the big ship is gojo and getou because of how close they were but what is nanami to gojo , a tool and a function or a friend and possible lover ??? and how will his death effect him ???

also were gojo actively smiles , nanami only smiles when death is around the corner and i am like red flags here and there . but sorry this got so long and please feel free to ignore it .

hello and welcome.  take a seat and thank you for joining me.  if this doesnt make sense just pretend u know what im talking about, its the adhd for making my thoughts so scattered everywhere

so in concept the nanami and gojou ship in a romantic concept is rly cute in concept like u have an ex - salary man whos serious doesnt allow himself the luxury of acting his age but on the other end u have someone who still acts like hes a child and never takes anything serious even when hes fighting.  they both endured the trauma being a jujutsu sorcerer entails yet they have nothing in common -- gojou dresses like hes a reflection with the moon and nanami, the sun.  also the fact that gojou thinks that he, himself, is ascended above all he works with while nanami is just a human living his day to day, and lot of ppl use this as nanami to bring down gojou to his morality just like a nudge or a friendly reminder.  he even tolerates and puts up with him a lot more than he should.  hes very patient but very honest.  a lot of the fanart of them is SO CUTE esp when theyre married and living happily with one another.  i even ship them, its actually one of my top ships next to satosugu but like in reality its not so great unfortunately

honestly?  theres a small slim of a possibility but due to the nature of the clash of personalities and what their job its like ... not rly possible

nanami, even out of being a salary man, fully treats being a jujutsu sorcerer as a 9 - 5 job and refuses to work overtime. he has small luxuries like he enjoys reading and eating left overs after a day of working hard like who wouldnt and not to mention hes the type to keep his relationships strictly professional. gojou has probably asked him several times to take him out for drinks after work (altho work never ends with gojou which is ironic) and has said no.  it’s funny now that i think about it,  shouko probably asks him for an occasional drink after hours and he accepts because at least he likes shouko and he knows theres no ulterior motive from her just a couple of coworkers doing some heavy drinking but nothing ever more than that -- hes even said that he wants to get married but when hes no longer a sorcerer

sucks tho, because like everyone else, nanami sees gojou as someone who is extremely powerful and only sees him for his techniques except more like hes a nuisance and extremely annoying, even to the point of having absolutely no respect for him.  he realizes, yeah hes strong but as for the full package that is satoru gojou?  there’s absolutely nothing to respect about that man

and while we’re talking about gojou, i’ll say it, he’s mentally unstable.  i mean, we all knew that -- hes got a couple of “screws loose” as he puts it inside that rattling brain of his.  on the opposite side of the spectrum, hes not capable of handling a romantic relationship.  hes always always busy, its rare that that he gets a breather for himself.  hes always being sent out on missions out of country and ive always portrayed gojou as the type of partner thats not even gentle on his partners in terms of being playful, childish, and being a nuisance.  his mental health is absolutely terrible (i’m not saying nanamis is any better but) hes always acted much younger than what he is altho i do blame his upbringing for that.

and gojou treats everyone as good friends but does like to particularly pick on ppl who take themselves too seriously (nanami and utahime), mei mei and yuki are exempt from this.  he also doesnt rly care for ichiji but like, that doesnt matter LOL.

i do see nanami eventually giving in for one (1) after dinner ‘date’ after work but when gojou is actually less himself, hes tolerable to be around which isnt saying much tbh.  you should def listen to the nanami and gojou drama audio if u can!  they’re so fucking funny as a pair, which solidifies them as being cute but were not talking about that rn.

in terms of being ‘what are they’ to each other, its hard to tell.  i talked about it briefly as nanami reminding him of his morality and being his humility tho gojou doesnt act like it, he fully believes hes above all and everyone, lovers and close friends are included in this.  i read a lot of nana/go fanfics and they portray nanami as someone to push down his ego;  to remind him hes actually Not all that great, a child in an adults body, etc.  he’s a brutality honest man and gojou can take critic and criticisms to his person but that doesnt mean hes going to listen (and he doesnt, hes even self aware that his personality sucks ass but does he bother to change?  absolutely not and he wont start now nor for anyone else).

yuu did definitely help nanami change and shift his ideas about the world, esp hating the jujutsu society afterwards.  like, i dont blame u king, it sucks ass.  tho, i dont think nanami looked up or cared for gojou and getou that much.  getou he looked up to more so because at least hes as a respectable guy, strong, good looking, and stimulates intellectual conversations.  gojou?  not so much.  nanami probably thought that it doesnt matter if u have techniques that is extremely rare to acquire and even more so to master but u suck ass and u dont stimulate joy to be around.

nanami is a good friend and high school buddy to gojou and nanami would definitely call him ‘coworker’ or something along those lines when hes annoyed him too much or doesnt want gojou to benefit too much from simple acknowledgement.  gojou thinks hes an ascended being but he definitely respects and finds nanami to be a strong sorcerer and was rather surprised when he took the 9 - 5 job but it was definitely safer.

death ... ah, i think about this all the time.  it’s like losing suguru all again except he didnt go rogue and kill a whole village.  hes absolutely confident in nanamis abilities to fend off curses and hes too stubborn to let himself die as well, so the idea of him dying doesnt ever cross his mind.  thats a true stab to the gut to hear that nanami has died, maybe a moment of truly being unhinged and a darker nature but we wont rly know until it happens in the manga, which i cant wait.  i mean, at least mei mei, utahime, and shouko are around but this is nanami were talking about.  if this was in terms of a romantic relationship rather than a simple seemingly one - sided friendship of enjoying of being around that person but that person just tolerating him and hoping he goes away eventually.  i can’t say, i can’t say!  just take these thoughts with like a grain of salt.

also that last statement in the ask, gojous smiles are fake and a mask while the rare times nanami does smile, its genuine.

regardless of what i said, i think it can be a comfy ship!  this ship isnt toxic but any means (unless u make it toxic then well, thats a you thing) so just enjoy it!  i know i do i think as long as u recognize that maybe neither of them being a relationship would benefit the other then go stupid go crazy, i know i will.

[p1nkwitch]

If I may one last director's cut: And the Nightmare Collapses? 👁️

Ask as many as you want i dont mind.

Oh my monster au, what to say? I had this in the backburner for a few months now. Originally i was going to make a series of one shots from different characters perspectives.

So first it was going to be Jon waking up from the coma and realizing that everyone were monsters but him sort of like a walking dead scenario. I had the clear picture of him seeing Georgie in her hald deaf state being like, what the fuck happened???

Now the entire idea came to mind with how pissed off i was at everyone in season four acting like Jon was the worst for no discernable reason. Like, Melanie, Basira and Georgie, all treated him in different levels rather cruely. Georgie wasnt so mean, but she was playing blind eye to the whole thing being fucked.

So Jon is the only one who remains human because he tries so hard to keep his humanity despite everything. While everyone else becomes more monstruos, Basira and Melanie in particularly were much more affected, i had a clear vision of a slaughter Mel. But had to keep it brief since Georgie wouldnt want to dwell on her becoming a monster, since now she had no way to deny it. Daisy gets a pass because while on the coffin she regains her humanity by her regret of what she became, its why her changes are minimal in the text.

The other one shots were supposed to be from Elias and Peter perspective with the last being them reuniting.

Now my original idea had no reasoning as to why they were monsters all out sudden. Its not until i realized the potential of the entities just dropping in a world similar enough where they already existed and they end up overcharging, while still carrying the vestigies of the apocalipse that i went like-

Hoy fuck.

Ultimately i am happy with the one shot the way it came out, with Elias being able to see, he was capable of tying up those little threads i wanted to make and make the reference to having an anchor. Anchors tie you to humanity, people are fundamentaly capable of good if they wish too, kindness even in the face of despair, destroys the horrors of the world.

The world wont fix itself, but you adapt and grown and try to make it better.

Now as for the story itself? I just wanted to go buck wild with the scenery of reality fracturing itself and Elias just losing it while perceiving the horrors and understanding far more than possible.

I like eldritch horror i just dont use it enough, or horror shorts in general, maybe i should put up the small ones i made in tumblr they are like a paragraph long each.

For realsies, I really like the idea of monster Elias for several reasons and i wanted to go with it. I have another different take on this verse of how things pan out too, but i will see eventually if i want to write it. There is... also the horny aspec of Peter being, as the fic implies, a monster fucker, not really he just loves Elias whatever shape he comes even if its some weird owl spider thing. If i ever feel brave enough to go thought it in an extra will shall see.

Anyways Jonah goes through life replacing people while manipulating them and toying with their sanity like he did to the ogElias in his interview. Despite being beholding, as per the soup theory, at this point he also represents the stranger, web and spiral fairly well. I have a soft soft for him losing the ability to recognize himself after a while. Because as i pointed out? He kept sort of a more or less stable life, sure, but it must be jarring having to go from one face to another, to have to pretend to be someone else, at least enough that its not glaringly obvious that something is wrong.

So he loses it. The fears overcharge and it all stacks up on him, causing his transformation to be so strong, it ends up consuming him. Not only that but he is vain too, so to be changed into something so horryifing it breaks something else in him, it gives him the idea that no one could want him now, he cant make people do as he says like this, he doesnt know himself and now no one would want to know him anyways. The more he changes the more he loses his sense of self, its not only him, he was so many people it feels weird to be just him, it doesnt fit anymore, so through the story he starts to use they until its what he mainly uses at the end, because he grows and its happy with it by the very end.

His body changes when he doubts himself, the more time it passes the more he forgets. Now the main reason he didnt become a puddle of ink and die, was because as i mentioned he thought about being alone, and it made him think of Peter, that was his last connection, the last thread to a humanity he wasnt sure he still had. When he thinks that he loves him, even if a little, its enough to let him move.

That small lifeline is what actually saved him and what kept him more or less stable for longer that he would have otherwise. Same goes to Peter whos last action before becoming one with his siblings was pick up the phone, the same though went through him, its why even if he was already at the brink of being melded he kept himself alive for longer.

Then there was the idea of copies.

Because, eyes? just the eyes?? I know it works with supernatural energy but, the doubt, the idea or posibility that Jonah Magnus actually died the moment he transplanted his eyes the first time and that Beholding merely put the copied memories of Jonah that it reatained into the new body was such a good concept, i have a special love for it, to not be sure if you are you, but ultimately chosing to live your life despite knowing that you may not be the real one.

I like to point out at the end that he does, that he is the original and that he is not a copy but... its not really proof, Jonah wants to believe it is. Wether is true or not? Thats up to anyone.

Also his monster concept, i toyed with a few options, and ended up adding it somewhat in the final product, originally he was going to be sort of an owl monster sort of mixed with a cat, no not for the joke, i saw really nice fanart of owlcats and i was in love. But as it is i went with something similar to his body in the afterlife beach party.

Instead of tar it was the ink of the letters he wrote, the static remains because he doesnt know his face anymore and he wont again. The fur... i just wanted something nice for later when Peter made his appearence, less sticky more fluffy. 8 arms like a spider, more eyes because of beholding- you get it.

Speaking of Peter!!

Here is the deal, i know or at least believe that the curruption? Is the oposite of the lonely and viceversa. Wanting to be alone vs being consumed by what you love? Perfect.

So the Lukases become amalgamations of fog trapped in a hive mind that they cant escape from. Forced to be together and then to be alone once someone manages to impose themselves like Nathaniel did. Peter could have theorically left his siblings become him, after Elias saw them, but in this, the closenes they shared was enought that he could not do it. <3<3

I wanted to play with the fact that being stuck with so many people, mainly his sisters while slowly melding into one, made him switch from pronouns feeling comfortable in all of them. Lydia, Judith and Clara were all nice and accidentaly he wanted to feel that nice, so he switches more often to her. It too, because at one point he was litreally nothing since the rest were rather happy being one.

Reality check comes and they all realize that, oh shit we fucked him up. Hence the road trip, unfortunately the melding was inevitable, either they became one or someone took charge. Still it gives them time to bond too, which adds to the decision to let them stay with him despite everything. Peter plays into a similar idea, but from a different perspective, you lose yoursef but become a different person. Luka is all of them being at peace with being one, being happy and wanting the same thing, but still mantaining some way to be apart. If i was being sappy i would liken it to a fusion in Steven Universe.

It wasnt as such at first, but later once Peter is the main body they can do it with less fear of dissapearing. It is also true that his feelings bleed out onto them and likewise to him. Its hard being a single being while simultaniously be 5 people in one.

They do love Elias, except for Clara who is mostly just enjoying the company while judging everyones tastes. It is also true that if this hadnt happened they would never have tried it. But life works oddly. Plus they are happy.

The world cant be fixed, but life sort of goes on and people adjust as they can.

Final note? I really, reeeeally wanted to have JME corpses just drop and have everyone freak out. There was a brief idea of having them alive and react to what they did to the world, but i did not want to deal with that many explanations. So yeah, they are dead.

AGAIN SORRY FOR GOING OFF!!! I NEED TO BE STOPPED.

D:

If you want to ask something in particular go ahead i have the ideas still fresh for this one in my head.

[magireco]

1, 2, 5, 6, 8, 9, 20, 21, 22, 23 ;3c i just realized how many i picked what the fuck

1. “if kyubey were to come to you and offer you a wish in exchange becoming a magical girl, would you accept?” - You know I would........ sometimes I like to think I have enough foresight not to do that but like. ive kind of been ready to risk my life for stuff for years so i might as well use that instinct for something useful even if it means getting my soul taken away 

2. “what would you wish for?” - ummmm....i think about that a lot. but ive never actually come to a conclusion ... i probably wouldnt actually use my wish ON someone else because i know i just... can’t read people’s minds and i don’t know what they ACTUALLY want i only know what i percieve that they want.... so instead i’d use it to have the ability to protect whoever it is rather than irreversably changing their life

5. “if you were in homura's situation would you do anything differently? if so what?” - OH GOD. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. Ummm... well. i wouldn’t close all my emotions away from them if i could help it. i know that displaying no visible emotion will make them trust me less and just think i’m planning something. i would still try to get my point across while like... proving my truth with facts and evidence, like transforming and showing them my shield and how it works, just explaining things as best as i can, especially to madoka, because at some point i think i’d come to realize madoka’s shock from knowing the truth of everything is a much better fate than indirect death by kyubey and death at the hands of walpurgisnacht. though of course to give homura the benefit of the doubt i’m a couple years older than her and 14 year old me would absolutely react the same in that circumstance... but i mean, overall, no matter what i tried, it’s likely that actual success would be really hard for me to achieve.. especially if i’m in her EXACT position. so, tl;dr, it’s complicated, but communication would be my top priority and something i should push myself not to give up on

6. “out of all the witches in madoka magica which ones you're favorite?” - HOMULILLY. but second on the list is you, oktavia<3 i could go on about homulilly but this post is ALREADY getting long and it didn’t ask me why so..

8. “what kind of witch do you think you'd be?” - The Witch of Heartache. am i ok? No

9. “if you died, would it because of turning into a witch or because of your soul gem breaking?” - THIS IS KIND OF A HARD QUESTION because i’m not physically agile At All so i feel like i might get my soul gem broke if i’m not careful enough but it also depends on the placement but... i mean... i feel like it’d be because i’d turn into a witch to be honest 

20. “what is your most fav moment in the pmmm franchise?” - oh my god SO many i just wrote out a bunch of stuff but it got so so long so i’ll pick ONE from the series and ONE from the movie. this is probably to be expected from me but my Favorite moment is just... that scene with homura and junko talking to eachother watching the sunset... it makes me cry every single time. it’s slow and gentle and gives even the viewer a moment to reflect... and for rebellion, AGH that’s so hard. so ahrd but my fav (becauase it makes me happy) is when all of them were fighting the nightmare together and my fav (because it makes me really emotional) is when homura was in the flower field and talking about her true feelings but having to lie about it and say it was just a terrible dream she had...... i could go on... i ahve so many favorite moments from the series AND from the anime but im trying to keep it fairly short so. yknow. 

21. “what is your least fav moment in the franchise?” - DEVIL HOMURA.

22. “what did you think of the rebellion movie?” - beautiful and uplifting and full of symbolism and imagery and gorgeous animation all up until the last 30 minutes, wherein it becomes the bane of my existence

23. “what do you think of nagisa momoe?” - BABY GIRL. BABY. i was at first kind of. confused on why they brought her in when i watched rebellion for the first time because i was like “who is this” and i just kind of like.. im upset that people took her appearing in the movie as the writers shoveling in a romantic interest for mami like NO. NAGISA IS LIKE 10. but like... nagisa as a character is so sweet and having her be a helper of the law of cycles alongside is a really fun concept i think. and her having a familial relationship with mami was sweet... i’m sure she wanted to make up for the pain she caused when she was a witch even though it wasn’t her fault ): and also her having the ability to freely manipulate her witch-self was SO good.